It'S a LittLe BiT FuNnY

[ Thursday, January 30, 2003 ]

 
Another Illusion

A dark, cloudy haze surrounds us The fog is so thick the moisture sits on your skin You breathe in and the mist tickles your throat. You exhale and form another cloud that gently fades...I look at you and know instantly that I'd die without your love. A river so deep seperates us and neither of us can swim for very long. So I breathe you. I dip my toe in the cold dark water. Daring not to plunge just yet I breathe you. Strength comes slowly but it does come. If I dare, you must jump with me so we can meet in the middle and be life for one another but the fear of losing, the fear of drowning still lingers near. But I breathe you and I'm not afraid anymore I lift my head and arch my back as I prepare to exploit this world of mystery, this world of myself with you I see you coming towards me and go faster and faster. We meet, I hold you tightly as I weep on you. Your warmth thaws my soul Your touch erases my fears but still I tremble scared and ashamed. The sun is now gone and we can barely see. But we stay there cold and alone, only in need of one another The mist you exhale gives me life. Protect me, love me If I stop breathing breathe for me and I'll breathe for you that way, I know we'll never sink.
Lady CeCe [8:24 PM]

 
Please Don't Judge Me

It's still me here happy and sweet, Don't change how you feel because i'm a little more complicated than you believed me to be. Don't turn your head because you don't know what to say or how to act. Please don't change how you feel....It's still me here social and fun. Don't speak about me unkindly when i'm not around. Don't call me names to try and fit in or intentionally be cruel. I'm still a human, I need love just like you...
Lady CeCe [8:05 PM]

 
Bliss

I've learned what bliss is, I've learned what love is...I've learned who you are, I showed you the real me. Your touch heightens my senses, I often long for your kiss. This is so right, I can't be wrong about this. Multiple feelings coincide, in your soul I'm mesmerized. Am I dreaming or can this be real, is it okay to feel how i feel? Please just let me rest if i'm not awake. But I think that I am, it makes my heart ache, Not from pain, with you that is gone. You're my world beautiful, please never forget. I love you so much sweet girl in my dreams. I'll never hurt you, and never try to be mean...I'm so happy with you, I love who you are. Think of me always, never forget our stars! I'm willing to go the distance, you better be too...See, you're stuck with me as I'm stuck you.

Love you forever, in bliss we'll stay.
Lady CeCe [8:01 PM]

 
Question

How do you say "Baby let's Fuck., without saying, "Baby, let's Fuck."?
Lady CeCe [7:50 PM]

 
On conversation at WOrk

I explained to the girls at work today the saran wrap method. I don't know why I always end up the sex pro in conversation, but usually I do have the answers for them. I personally would never do the saran wrap thing, I like the real thing :o) But it's crazy that before my new girls-on-girls relationship I was like ughh gross I would never go down on a girl and now it's like gimme gimme gimme, lol, just playin!...kinda ;o)
Lady CeCe [7:48 PM]

[ Wednesday, January 29, 2003 ]

 
A Real Conversation between us coworkers

Okay normally on the weekends we clown around a bit and just try to have a good time. On Saturdays it's okay to get a bit crazy because it's all of our friends there and we can just talk. But on Sundays, it's us plus a few older people, we can't act crazy and go wild because they like things a little nicer than nice and quiet...so that said, lemme tell ya what things are usually like. All day Saturday we talked about things purely about sex after one of our friends said they had gone to sex party the night before. We cut up and had a good time and things were great. We talked about everything between painful positions and anal beads to vaginal creams and lubricants that taste good. Pretty kinky. Pretty us. Then Sunday comes around the corner and we can no longer say anything at all. SO what do we do?

(copied directly from the letter)

AC: I'm writing because I saw you writing and thought it looked like fun. I had an idea We can't talk about the subject we were were on yesterday,..but
that doesn't mean we can't write to each other on the subject (big picture of a light bulb drawn on page)
me: You start, then me and KJ can leave comments! What do you think K?
KJ: Yeah, sure. But be warned, K can't spell - Also remember this when I leave comments on your web page! Topic: Do you prefer big or small? Deep
Dickin or HArd Lickin?
me: OMG, what the F are you talking about! LoL! I prefer above average I guess, but if there's a good lick, what's the point of a dick? (Picture of
a smiley
face with it's tongue sticking out)
AC: (Circles picture of tongue) Hee Hee Actually a combination of both are grrrrrr-eat!!!! Hee hee! I prefer above average...What about you K? Which do
you prefer? and why? YOu never answered your own question
KJ: I don't have the luxury of a preference I only have the knowlege* of days gone by!! So gonna say I enjoy oral compensation, but check back later one
day and I'll be able to make an educated decision!!
me: OC is fun, but you can't really compare it to sex, they're too different...but both enjoyable
KJ: Thanks for the info. One day I'll know the joys on "pains". Poor poor pitiful me. It's okay tongues are lovely God bless the licking man! Tink (me)--
You've got the next subject question!
AC: I just learned like a month ago that there's a tongue condom, has anyone seen one before?
me: I haven't seenthem but I know some people use saran wrap. What are yall's feelings on watching dudes go at it?
KJ: I have seen some homosexual porno. I thought it was going to be really dirty and/or exciting but NO it was boring it was just like a guy and a girl
doing it doggy style--big woop I wasn't aroused at all I would rather be watching Sesame Street
AC: Ummm, I heard of the saran wrap concept, but not quite understanding but 2 guys wouldn't arouse me at all!! HAs anyone thought about what it
would be like with 2 guys?? I mean cuz guys are like so into the 2 girl idea...jus curious
me: 2 girls are fun...2 guys might be too! The more the merrier right (drawing of smiley face) The saran wrap thing is easy, they just hold it out, or put it
where they're about to lick and then do their thing. That way the guy doesn't "taste" anything, but the girstill feels everything.
KJ: 1st time I would appreciate a one on one situation later in life who knows..Freak?? AND thanx for the visual with the saran wrap!!! A, it's your turn
your topic-- Go!!!
AC: Oh, the saran wrap sounds wonderful...and I guess the guy appreciates it too. The thing I don't get is why a girl would lick a guys buttcrack. I know
this girl who was famous for this (Tink knows her too!!) WOuld you classify her as a freak? What are the characteristics to be considered a freak?
me: A "freak" I guess would be anyone who strays from the rules and norms society sets up for us. Or anyone who's daring enough to live their
own life...So to most people, I'd be considered a freak, maybe even to you guys, but who knows, I'm cool with me. Most of my friends are freaks but
that's cool with me too...As for licking a guys butt...ummm..I've never done that ...Have a pu-tang, no need for pooh-tongue...'Nough said!
KJ: LOL!!!!! Butt licking is a famous past time I have heard it time and time again..I hear it feels great but-fo-mr I don't think I could do it. I have issues w/
public bathrooms and door knobs imagine an ass directly in my face! Doesn't sound yummy to me. As for freak, I disagree w/ the word. Well, I
shouldn't say disagree I just feel that every obe has a little "freak" in them. SO there are rally no freaks. I think if everyone involved is consenting and
enjoying themselves then do what you feel and be happy. That shouldn't make anyone a freak. (drawing of a peace sign)
AC: Hee hee sp it's Toe'sha's question right??!
(enter another employee who reads letter)
PH: So would any of you use an anal vibrator while getting it on vaginally? Hmm...plug-n-pump! The newest fad.
KJ: I am still stuck on "vaginal" LEt me consentrate* on one plug at a time. PS In the future I would be open for suggestion!!!
AC: Anything in my butt doesn't sound pleasurable at all and pleaseure shouldn't pe pain. (drawing of a butt with a one way sign on it and the words exit
only! to the side.)
me: I'm "open" to many things but I'm not sure about a vibrating anus. I've never used toys before but who knows maybe if ur like gettin it on and really
feeling it about to explaode and then your partner just slides one in, might be like Ya-f'n-Hoo, I don't know! But Mr. PH # 1 rule is you must answer
your own question! Would u use an anal vibrator?
PH: No...have you ever had one of those atomic shits (turds) that feel like your butt is birthing a baby cow coming out? Ouch! If it hurts that bad goin
out, I can't imagine a big plastic tube a vibrating its way in.
KJ: Hey PH, stop skippin spaces babe- your wastin' paper! Okay my turn again? So yeah, I'm the inexperienced one so I am looking for real answers
here...What the hell is up with vehicular sex? Sex in a car is not fun - is it? I have done things in the back of a car ( and yeah I know Im large) but
damn, it just seemed more trouble than its worth am I wrong? My question where is the best place for sex? Is it more fun if there's a chance of
getting caught? PS. I can't really answer this question - so we'll just call this advise!
AC: I really can't think of a question so would any of you swallow or gurgle it?????? Never done jus' curious.......
me: 2 questions to answer from the sex pro (hehe). Vehicular sex isn't bad, sometimes it's just good for a quicky but it depends on the size of
the car. Messin around in a car is even fun when the driver is messing with you (usually just a finger-thing) or if someone else is driving and totally
oblivious to the fact that you and the other passenger are messing around! So yes, it can be A LOT more fun when you risk getting caught, but on
the other hand it could be mortifying if you actually got caught. And to answer A's question, definately would not gurgle!! MAYBE swallow but I
doubt, I haven't done either yet!
PH: Gross..man juice is 25 calories per teaspoon and the way I see it none of us could afford the extra calories. But would you ever let a guy bust on
your face/chest?
KJ: A-- I have never tasted - swallowed gurgles or any other! Probably would swallow - maybe not sure Seems a bit Well you know! PH why do you have
facts on manslime? Answer quest. 2--don't think face would be fun but chest would be okay. PS "FYI" yets its high in calories but also high in
nutrients!!!

Off we go to lunch to talk aloud again.


Lady CeCe [12:06 AM]

[ Tuesday, January 28, 2003 ]

 
Careless words

So we're talking at work today and one of my friends says to me, "I don't think people are born gay, I think they just choose to be that way." (Now this person is well known for making comments like this all the time) My reply: "Why would someone choose to be gay and choose to looked down upon and feel bad about themselves all the time by a majority of our wonderful society? A person can choose to be with a someone of the same sex, but choose to be gay, yeah right.."
Lady CeCe [11:48 PM]

 
The Scream

I want to scream this isn't fair How come when they kiss no one stares? What makes it so easy and right for them to be yet when it's up it's hard and disgusting? Why can they hold hands and skip along while we can only show our affection at home? Who sts these rules Why do we listen? Why must we play your part and feel like fools? Of what worth is acceptance if it makes you reject yourself? It's not worth it at all! It's not worth it, but what else do we have, what else can we do I want to scream so loud, everytime I open my mouth nothing comes out, I just suck it back in and try to understand how this could be worth it..but I know it is..somehow...
Lady CeCe [11:34 PM]

 
On Work

Please tell me why I can't have internet access at work but the "higher-ups" are allowed to cyber while in the effin call center.
Lady CeCe [11:25 PM]

 
Question

I'm trying to expand on the phrase "attracted to chicks" for my own understanding. If I think a girl is "hot as hell", so to speak, but I have no sexual feelings towards her, is that being attracted to a girl?
Lady CeCe [11:23 PM]

 
Awwww

Okay, so I had buttloads of homework to do today and I was so stressed out from everyday life (see link). I was on edge, completely ready to kill EVERYONE in sight, then I saw my baby girl and it all went away...Love you hunny.
Lady CeCe [11:09 PM]

 
Burden who?

By saying one sentence I could change the lives to some degree of so many people I care about. I wouldn't be able to handle being a burden to them, but I feel burdened by all of this. I just wish it would all go away...Maybe one day.. Maybe I'll be strong enough to face that, to handle the looks and the tears...but I doubt, I've been a source of happiness for them for so long...I don't want to hurt anyone, but I'm hurting so much inside...doesn't that matter?
Lady CeCe [11:07 PM]

 
On Work

You ever realize how fake some people are. It sucks if they're your friend because then you don't want to hang out with them...Or how about people who kiss so much a** you wonder why their breath doesn't stink. Brown nose, how about brown mouth, brown tongue, brown teeth, you're drowning in pooh motha-effer, hehehehehehehe.
Lady CeCe [11:03 PM]

 
Help me

Trapped between walls, sitting in a corner in a world full of misunderstanding. Hard to believe who I've become, I wonder if this is how things were meant to be...I want to tell the world how I feel. I want to share these things with them that I know are real. But I know what I'd get in return...My own friends can't know, my family would fall...I've got nothing to lose, but I can't risk it all...I just want to tell them all so bad I HATE THESE FU**ING WALLS! What makes it so wrong if it's really love, why can't people just understand...This is my life, I'm happy. For the first time in my life my smile is so real. Not just painted on for all to see. I love her...She loves me. It's so confusing, if we weren't meant to be then why has it happened. I don't know how it started, I can't think of any signs that would have predicted this...I just remember how my heart raced, my legs shook, and my stomach fluttered the first time our lips met in a kiss. No one could ever convince me that this isn't love, If I'm damned then I have to accept that, but for some reason in my heart I don't believe I am...Why should I have to hide behind the walls? What we feel for each other is so wonderful. She's my air when I can't breathe. My life when I feel like dying..If everyone abandoned me, even my loved ones, I know without a doubt that she's stay. So why do hide, why can't we just live and be able to make our own choices, free from any type of shame or misery. How could the one source of my happiness cause grief to everyone else?
Lady CeCe [10:59 PM]

 
InXperienced

Okay, so obviously I'm a little inexperienced about how to be with a girl, but I'm a work in progress and I haven't had any complaints (wink, wink). But believe me it's a whole new ball game (no pun intended). It's so crazy because you know, I'm a chick, so I should know some things but I kinda don't (didn't)..Like where exactly is the "clit" and golly gee is that what it looks like down there?..really, that's quite..different...Sure most chicks have experimented with at least themselves, but not this chick...I guess this will be quite a journey. Good thing I like a challenge ;o)
Lady CeCe [10:40 PM]

 
Get ready though, I don't have the date from when these were written, but they're all within the past month so here we go...
Lady CeCe [10:34 PM]

 
This is just a compilation of all the crazy thoughts that go through my mind on a day-to-day basis. I have another blog page as well (see link), but this one is for the things I can't share with the rest of the world...First I guess I'll explain what the term "curved" refers too. All my life I've walked around perceiving myself as a happy, healthy normal teenage girl (I'm 20 now though). I dated a lot and then settled down with "the boy of my dreams" at the sweet age of 14, life was mostly good and we were together for just shy of six years...Things were still somewhat normal then. But then came the month of October, the unexplainable happened...I fell in love with a girl. Now I've never been attracted to girls, there werenever any "signs" as people often say. We just became best friends, and later..much more. I guess this is all too new for me to just be able to say "Yes, I am bisexual"..I mean I know I'm obviously not straight because I'm with a chick, but I wouldn't necessarily say I was bi either. Makes no sense, I know. But I believe I'm only attracted to one girl, so for now I'll just say I'm..curved..Doesn't make sense, but hey that's cool with me, none of this makes sense right now...So let's begin the madness!
Lady CeCe [10:33 PM]