It'S a LittLe BiT FuNnY

[ Monday, March 31, 2003 ]

 
Another day Another life

Isn't it odd how quickly life can just do a complete 180 and no one notices it but you...Like when you wonder if love is just a game or if it really exists..or when you wonder if you're really the person you think you are, or if you're the person they think you are...It's no wonder you're so misunderstood...and then you wonder if you even understand yourself...You ask yourself what your purpose is here and wonder if you'll fulfill it b4 you manage to screw everyone's life up...Then you wonder if there's even a point of getting attached to people, you'd think the ones who know you the best should understand you the most...Then you stop thinking and realize that maybe being alone is in your best interest or in the best interest of others at least..you try so hard not to hurt people...but keep getting hurt over and over and over...No one should feel as if their presence in the world is..empty...but yet you feel so empty inside...You wonder how you got to be the way you are..and you hate yourself for it..for being selfish at times and too giving at others..You wonder if you'll ever do anything right, if you'll ever really make anyone happy...and just when you think life can't get any better boom somethings happens that throws your whole world out of whack...You hate yourself more and more everyday, you'd say you want to die but know you're already dying inside...You wonder how on earth this play keeps going on and on...and then realize hehe the jokes on you...I always say if a person wants to be happy they will be and if they want to be miserable they will be...but what about those people who try sooo hard and never get farther than they started...You wonder if you should just go back to the way things used to be and forget about the things you have now...no one seems to really care but you anyways...Then you ask yourself if you're feeling sorry for yourself or if that's how you really feel...you wonder how no one seems to notice what's really going on in your world..if anyone notices how much you're starting to dread everything and slip into a deep deep depression..and you don't notice too much yourself except for those instances when it just hits you and takes your breath away..you can't breathe and as you gasp for air everyone just smiles and makes small talk and act as if they care...and you're lost, you don't know who you are or where you're going..you're just...scared...
Lady CeCe [2:48 AM]